A Place for Mom's Family

 About 5 years ago I worked with a family in NY looking for care for an Aunt who had never been married and did not have any children. The niece I was working with was so concerned for her aunt's safety because she had early stage dementia and lived all alone in the apartment building she owned in Brooklyn. She was concern about her health and safety but never suspected that her aunt was in danger in other ways too.  She lived a few hours away but went to see her once a month to check on her and take care of whatever she needed. One month she happened to notice that her aunt had been writing checks in the amount of $7000.00 to one of her tenants.  Her aunt explained that the person was helping her with various things around the building. She did get protective services involved immediately, but this was a real eye opener for me how easily seniors, especially one with memory loss, can be taken advantage of. Very scary.

I found a startling statistic: 20% or one in five older adults have been the victim of a crime. The article went on to say....all too often, these victims are too embarrassed to report because in at least half the cases, the perpetrator is a family member, loved on or caregiver. Sometimes an older person trusts a family member with their assets only to discover this person of trust has cleaned out the bank accounts or sold valuable possessions. The victim is afraid to report the crime because 1) it’s humiliating to be victimized by a trusted loved one or 2) the fear of losing independence because of being diagnosed incompetent to handle their own affairs.

 For family members who suspect fraud, theft or some other crime I encourage them to contact their local Adult Protective Services to have their claim investigated by an outside party.  This allows them to know "professionals" (who specialize in Elder Protection) are involved and they can continue being the compassionate caregiver of sorts. 

 It's as important to protect the vulnerable seniors as we protect our own (innocent, vulnerable) children.  Easy comparison, but so similar.

Seniors are very prone to scams.  Connecticut's Attorney General Richard Blumenthal has taken on the misson to get these attackers and to educate people on potential threats. This is an excerpt from his website:

The following consumer tips were among some of the lessons that seniors who attended Consumer University learned throughout the session:

• Sweepstakes -- Don't be fooled into thinking you will win a better prize if you make a purchase. And if you need a magnifying glass to read the odds of winning, it isn't worth participating in the contest, and it is a violation of Connecticut law.
• Telemarketing -- Don't give out any personal information, including credit card or bank account numbers; don't send any money; and don't agree to donate money to a charity over the phone.
• Funeral goods and services -- Make sure you don't pay more than you have to. The funeral home must provide a copy of its general price list and separate price lists for caskets, vaults and cremation urns.
• Home Improvement -- Beware of offers such as "today only." Take your time, deal only with a registered contractor, and get at least three quotes for the work before signing a contract. And ask the contractor to explain any warranties and guarantees on material and workmanship.
• Travel -- Deal with an established local business. When purchasing a travel package, get the names of all hotels, airlines, car rental agencies, and restaurants involved, then check to confirm all of the reservations.
• Safety and Crime Prevention -- Don't allow strangers into your home. Ask for identification if someone claiming to be a utility repairman or law enforcement official comes to your door. Always lock your home and car. When you go out, be aware of your surroundings.

 

Good advice!  Thanks, Laura!

I lived in a unique place becaiuse the management was the ones that scamed me of my money.During my life I fought with the church to receive a settlement, Once I had that money the manager of where I lived became my best friend. She also became independent omn me to pay her childrens clothes ,car repairs,eyeglasses,any loans she had ,her brothers unemplyment,and a host of other lies she asked for moey to pay.

Did she pay me back is my question?

When I had my back operaed on and was under the influence of oxycoone and hydrocone at the same time she partially paid me. Partial in m,y case was $12,000. In reality she owed me $30,000. Was I paid -she claims so,the owners of the property claim so,only I dont think so. Now Ido not live there any longerand they claim iI owe a $1,019 security deposit payment for moveing,after 8 yrs there the apartment needed a new rug and paint not because I was irresponsible beu for wear and tear.

Getting to the good part ,the manager talked me into visiting Vietnam with what money I had left. Here I sit with no money to get back home.She has not answered 1 of my e mails for payment,she left her job so I have no other way to contact her. The Owners will not tell me wherte she is because of "privacy issues".With nothing in the USA left and no means to get back I wish I could at last name these people ?

If it needs to be edited then ok

Tregaron Senior Residence in Bellevue Neb and Jill Blazek was the

manager' The propery is owned by Cowboy Properties in Coloraddo or some place near there.

I think the best way to avoid this is to get help from an elder care specialist that is expert in taking care of Dementia patients. These people are in need of special assistance and if you fail to give the assistance they need then things like this can happen. So in order to avoid being taken advantage of, family members should give the appropriate long term care for them. They have the option to move to a facility or just stay home and look for a caregiver who specializes in patients like this.

So what does one do about dementia patients who want to stay in their home and don't want anyone to be a caregiver in their home....?

 

It is even worse when this type of decet action is taken by your step daughter!!.  My sister (our mother's natural born child) was reviewing my mother's checkbook entries as she balanced the statement.....and noticed that her step daughter wrote a check for funds to her friend's childs for a "fund raisier"!!  When my sister asked my mother what the entry was about....she got mad at my sister for questioning the entry and said that she could spend her money however she wanted.  My step sister is also getting her father to have their trust (my Mother's and his) set up so if he dies they(she and her sisters) immediately get $250K rather than leave it for my mother to use until her death....does that sound right or like sound judgement...and my Mom thinks this is fine!???

We called her neurologist to get a mental/functional diagnosis to see if we could take over her financial affairs and he said she was ''mildly cognitive disfunctional"??  So what does a child do to protect??

Do people volunteer to do this? The elder care specilists I mean? Is it something thtat we can afford on a budget of 0?  Perhaps I wasnt clear in my post? There is NO money left for me to use to do anything. They took all of it. No it was nt 250 thousand like betties but it was all had.......

thsnks you

Im sorry betty for what happened to your mother. I dont agree tho that its even worse when its done by a family member. Broke is broke no matter who steals the money.

Even if these people go to jail are we going to get our money back? In te meantime how do we live? I have to try to face facts and those are that my caregiver and friend took everything and left me in a foriegn country with no means to rerturn. Even if i do return I owe where i lived another $1900 so they claim. How many places will allow me to live there when I still owe another place? NONE is my guess. These people did a great job when they took everything from me. BUT they can not forget GOD is watching. He dont need money .

My mom died at 81 y/o. No chronic illnesses.  She had back pain, she was a breast cancer survior, and she was depressed because of being in a nursing home.  My brother had power of attorney over her starting in 2007. He and I had dual power of attorney over medical.  From the time he became POA he said she had dementia and alzheimers and was crazy.  When at home she many times took too many pain meds which made her look "crazy"; but she wasn't.  I could talk to her and she was fine.  My brother even made it to where her car was repossed and she called me one day so upset because they came and took her car away. My brother would write checks to himself from her account. He never had her POA filed in the clerks office at the County.

I tried taking the POA away from my brother at my mother's wishes; it backfired on me. The nursing home had a no tresspass warning put on me.  I was unable to see my mother from 9/2009 up until her death; because it would "upset her" so they said.  I would sneak back in about 4 times and the nurses would run me out.  The home even threatened the nurses with their jobs if they did not keep me out.  My mom wanted to see and talk to me each time I went in.  The home did not allow my daughter and her children in to see her either.  

The home also would medicate her for their convenience.  They gave her meds that could have caused her death. She died suspiciously and no one cared.  I am not wealthy and cannot afford a lawyer to fight the home.

I leavied several complaints with Health and Human Services (DADS) and most of the complaints were dismissed due to what they call the IDR, it is a branch of Health and Human Services.  They need to be done away with.  All they do is allow sorry homes to continue to work and kill people.   

I feel sorry for you but  I doubt anyone can assist us or wants to.I hope you get better response than I did Sad how we loose our value as fast as we loose our saveings .

Remember this? "blessed are the poor for they shall receive the kingdom of Heaven"? Someone stole our chair but we can stand.

It's such a shame that some people have the nerve to take advantage of an elderly, moreso someone who is suffering from memory loss. This surely is an eye-opener for us that these kinds of people do exist and it's better for us to consider safety and security of our elderly loved ones, not just their physical health.

 I dont know what they do here but I think for 1year I am no closer to getting my money back.I think itsjust an info gathering place for others to learn

I didnt wish to teach anyone how to be stupid as I was.I just need help getting my money back. $20,000is a lot to anyone............