My 77-year-old mother, who is suffering from dimensia, refuses (or fails) to recognize her husband of 50 years as her husband or my father.
Although they live together in their own house, she thinks my 81-year-old father is some sort of caregiver. She is convinced that he left her and is "running around" with other women. She says she hasn't seen him for a month and asks me if I know where he is. When I drew the courage to address the issue and calmly told her that he was the man standing next to us, she asked me to prove it. I knew I couldn't. But I didn't know what else to do. Her mind refuses recognize him. Photos, forms of indentification and testimonials from friends and relatives were greeted with accusations of fraud and deceit.
This is all new to me, as I guess it is to everyone faced with a parent suffering from dimensia. In order to assist my father in dealing with the situation, I transfered from Florida back to Illinois after having been gone three years. I am an only child and a divorced father of two. None of our family members live within a 100 miles. I am the only one available to address the situation. I'm not saying it's a burden to me. Not at all. They took good care of me and, now, it's my turn to take good care of them. I'm just having trouble getting a handle on the situation and figuring out what to do.
Over the last two weeks, she has seen an attorney to write my father out of the will and is seeking a divorce. I took her to the appointment concerning the will and, fortunately, was able to inform the attorney of the situation before hand. He still rewrote the will and she left the disposition of everything to me. He told us my father could protest the will, anyway. I'm seeking further legal advice concerning that proceedure. They had already established a will.
Now, she wants to divorce my father and has begun pressing the issue. The aforementioned attorney referred her to one of his partners. My father, bless his soul, has remained calm and in control. My mother ruled the household with an iron fist. Until her dimensia struck, he was like a fish out of water in regard to family finances. However, after years of riding in the back seat, so to speak, he's proven that he was still keeping an eye on the road. I'm very proud of him.