You know you're a good person and that you're doing right by your mother. Though it's particularly difficult to detach oneself from a mother, pretend you are a friend standing by, watching her go through her doubts, irritation, paranoia, etc. Tell yourself it has nothing to do with you personally. If you came across your mother and you weren't related, you'd treat her kindly, non? And you wouldn't be hurt by what she says because you know in your heart that you are not at fault. Try every day to be kind and detached. In a way, she's not the person who raised you--she's a different person that neither of you knows yet. And you did not hurt this person, right? Kind and detached will save you. You can still dearly love the person she used to be, though that person is hidden deep inside her now.