A Place for Mom's Family

My Mother is 78 years old and is suffering from memory loss, etc. She is totally unwilling to move from her residence, which she owns, nor is she willing to seek medical help. She is very healthy physically, but i do not know what to do at this point. I have power of attorney  but i do not want to force her to do antthing. She stays home most days with her dog and "appears" to be OK. Just dont know where to start with all of this, because she is  refusing to see a doctor or move into asstd. living, etc......any help would be greatly appreciated....we live in california as does my mother......She is fine financially thanks to my father who passed a few years ago, but iam worried about what to do next?..do i just wait for her to get sick? have a stroke? get lost when she goes for a walk?.......thanks for your help!........Kevin K.

Don't wait!  Be proactive and look for assistance in your area. Check for a local Alzheimer's/Dementia association. You should be able to find one via the web. I am currently helping my father-in-law find an appropriate home care agency for my 77 year old mother-in-law, who has Dementia. Maybe your mom would allow assistance in her home.

 Good Luck

How do I suggest an ASL facility?  My mother,94, say I'm trying to get rid of her.  She lives with my family and I ; she  is really driving me crazy.  This has been going on for about 3 years she has lived here 5 years.  I really need suggestions.  Could someone please help?   I realize I'm asking for too much; I just don't seem to have what it takes to just up and move her.  The money scares me too.  Not sure how long her money will last.  Thanks in advance for your input.  Also, I have never gone against her wishes.

Carol,

First off, don't beat yourself up over this.  You are not alone - there is support out there for you and the countless others who are travelling down this same road. 

I would suggest talking to a Geriatric Care Manager (http://caremanager.findlocation.com) for advice or guidance on how to move forward.  Depending on where you live, there might be various care and living options and arrangements - nursing homes, assisted living facilities, adult day care, in-home respite care to give you a break, etc. It is possible that your mother could qualify for assistance if her finances become depleted - Medicaid, or the VA has an underused and poorly marketed program - Aid & Attendance.  The great counselors at A Place for Mom would be more than happy to assist as well.

Have a third party facilitate a conversation so that you are certain you are respecting her wishes and providing the most appropriate care and living arrangement, and that you are taking care of yourself as well.