WOW, i can't STAND it because my mom has so many stories that repeat in her head that are negative, mostly about me. I don't live with my mother (that started this at 62, four years ago), but just within the past couple months has become exteremely upsetting. She says, "the a-hole's here..." out loud, after she saw me... and I try to laugh it off and just put it as things that are comical. But then she says that i stole their money... which i have no control over. My father is still great, and has become a caring caregiver for her, and he controls their money. She contstantily is going through her purse, looking at her bank statements, muttering that she has no money. she has been doing these "demon stare" thing too, and breathing really hard. She's talking about how she was born with grey hair (we have reserved to warning the kids friends and just kind of going with it... because you can't fight with her. she went through a phase where she would whip down her pants to check her underwear, to the point where my father now has a "clean underwear" and dirty underwear bins... with like tons in each. She even whipped her pants down on vacation in the hotel room in front of my 14 year old son and his friend. We all kind of looked at each other and left her with my dad. But she say that i say she's ugly (tells strangers this), that someone tried to pay her and take her home, my dad looked the other way in a store and she walked home during december in 2degree weather. she will only say, over and over, that he left her there.
In the past i have written down information like, Joann is still alive, nobody got hurt, did i kill somebody? but she gets VERY upset when anybody shows any type of affection. I'm not allowed to hug her or kiss her, and if i try she holds herself like a stone and sighs after and goes away quick. Every single darn time its time to leave a party, whatever, anybody saying goodbye gets her muttering under her breath about how dirty they are, and not to kiss, and dont touch her! its friggen embarrassing. we try distracting her. and she was abused when she was little, so i can understand where it comes from, but it doesn't justify "us" having to feel uncomfortable.
Her gait has changed, she walks all slouched over, she sniffles, picks at her face, can't focus, looks drunk, has seen at least eight doctors, doesn't have a diagnosis. She shook for awhile but thtat was fixed with medicine. She mutters constantly, and she used to grunt.
My dad has asked us to go on vacation with them. Its a camper park, 800/week that they paid for, and its tiny, we did it last year... but last year she didn't "hate" me. my son and a friend are coming, which we have done for years... so i politely asked my dad to maybe rent another camper. they are not hurting for money, at all, not even a bit... and i really feel that this is something important for their sanity and MY sanity. I don't know how everyone else feels, but i just feel forgotten, which is HORRIBLE, but my son said today that we should deal with it instead of trying to accomodate it. But its like she freaks.