Moving Mom and Dad

Article: Pet Separation

Admin — Fri, 18 Apr 2008 21:49:47 GMT

Pet Separation

By Steve Duno

For generations, pets have been a part of the fabric of our lives, keeping us company and providing us with steadfast, loyal devotion. Most of us have felt their unconditional love, and the sheer joy that comes from having a best friend who accepts us for who we are, faults and all, in an uncomplicated, mutually satisfying intimacy. Pets just make people feel happy.

Enjoyed by over half the households in the country, pet ownership is especially common amongst seniors, who, often living on their own, find the company of a good cat, dog, bird, or other pet to be of great comfort. The bond they develop with their pets can be deep-seated; indeed, the elderly’s closest confidants often walk on four legs rather than two.

This article continues at Pet Separation and Elder Care Support

Caring for mum and dad from afar.

gokrex80 — Wed, 11 Nov 2009 09:55:39 GMT

Caring for mum and dad from afar.

I ran across this CNN article." Caring for mum and dad from afar"
http://edition.cnn.com/2008/HEALTH/family/01/31/ep.long.distance.care/index.html
It presents very well the challenges, family members face when trying to help an elderly relative from a long distance.
I also found these links to commercial products that address these challenges
http://www.cellnetweb.com/eldercare.htm
http://www.cellnetweb.com/dementia.htm

Req advice for TX to CA move

pcpower123 — Mon, 28 Sep 2009 02:53:14 GMT

I am 62, disabled, hoping to move to Paso Robles, CA, from Dallas, TX, to be near my son. Can anyone suggest ways to lower the cost of moving a one bedroom apt, MINUS kitchen appliances and washer/dryer. I will need to rent a truck to move and pull my car, I think. I would appreciate some advice money and otherwise on this. Thanks so much, Linda

Your advice would be a blessing

only child in NJ — Sat, 27 Jun 2009 23:41:30 GMT

My mom is 94. She and my dad (90) have functioned as in interdependent unit, compensating for each other for many years.

This week he went into the hospital unexpectedly with cardiac and kidney failure. Looks like he won't be coming home soon, if at all. They own their own home and manage to live within a modest budget.

Mom cannot be self-sufficient with Dad's illness and being away from the house. Dad did the laundry, shopped, errands, etc for her because Mom over the past years has relied upon him always complaining about her broken hip ... a high maintenance individual.

As an only child who lives 400 miles away with no local support system for her or him, I am frozen and in a state of anxiety and panic about what to do. When I learned he was taken into the hospital I came right back home, but I have a job to get back to. Being 55 makes taking time off work dicey with the economy and a lack of sympathy at work with FMLA. And FMLA is a short-term answer to an ongoing problem. I feel like I am losing it and am frozen. There is no family to participate in problem-solving, care giving, etc.

Has anyone faced a similar dilemma. They are not wealthy, living off of social security and meager savings, but expectations exceed the financial reality. Any solutions or insights would be appreciated.

HELP!

Move from Texas to Indiana

MaureenAnn — Fri, 18 Sep 2009 00:47:05 GMT

I am in the process of moving my Aunt and Uncle from Texas to here in Indiana. WOW, what a job, lots of paperwork etc. But it looks like things are starting to come together.

I needed a nursing home for my Uncle. And I managed to find one. My Aunt who will be living with me is very happy she had a chance to speak with the DON and the Administrator today. And they assured her that things may go bump but it will work out. So now just trying to finish getting things together. It is hard when I have no other relatives down there that could help her pack and get rid of JUNK, but she will do fine. She does have a neighbor lady that will help her out. And of course some people from her church that will help also.

So for tonight anyway I am a little relieved. I will be fully relieved when they are up here.

So for tonight, Good night all and sweet dreams. And as Red Skelton used to say, "And May God Bless"

Maureen

Move an Alzheimer's mother if she says "no"

Chris D H — Thu, 18 Sep 2008 15:01:26 GMT

Hi! I have been working with Tanya K from A Place for Mom this summer for my mother. Tanya has been wonderfully patient with my research & questions. She suggested this site.

Here is my dilemma. My mother has Alzheimers & knows it. She has been in an independent living complex for 2+ years with a day care person during the week. My mother needs Assisted Living now for all medications, all meals & more social interaction. Also, due to illness & other obligations, my sisters & I cannot get to her every evening & on weekends as we had. We have had her visit 2 places. She liked 1 but insists that she is hapy where she is at & is not going to move.

Should we just send her away to a relative's for a weekend & move her things into the Assisted Living & then take her to the new place? We would keep her daycare person for a week or so to ease the transition.

Any experience on this matter would be apreciated.

Thank you, Chris

Does anyone know of a Nursing Home or Assisted Living in Upstate N.Y. that has dialysis?

KrisL — Thu, 13 Aug 2009 05:33:48 GMT

Hi, I am hoping someone on here can give me some help.

Mom had the gastric bypass done which has resulted in her now being in end stage renal failure. She recently fell and broke her humorous in her right arm, and has a fistula (sp?) in her left arm, which leaves her basically with no arms to use. In the last 2 months she has been in the hospital at least 3 times for several different infections, which have made her not aware of what she does or says, what is going on for weeks at a time. Now she had emergency intestine surgery tonight and if she does pull through, we have to decide what we can do to ensure the best care for her. Due to my Dad's health issues, he just simply cannot do it anymore. They are on a very limited budget (SS), but we need to find a nursing home or assisted living residence that not only assists in the daily care, but also has the ability to do dialysis in-house. With all of Mom's health problems at this time, we cannot think that having to transport her from a nursing home to dialysis 3 times a week will enable her to overcome at least some of her health issues. Mom and Dad live in Upstate N.Y., near binghamton and I am hoping there is such a nursing home nearby that will accomodate all that we need handled. Any help with this would be greatly appreciated.

moving mom from CAli to AZ need serious input

Judykah — Thu, 06 Aug 2009 23:38:51 GMT

moms on state medical in cali n in trying to get her transfered to az but she is on so many machines n they act like they can ship her anywhere in cali but not to az where family is. any advice or input is desperatley needed PLEASE!! EXTREMELY AT MY WITS END!

Moving MIL

bebe863 — Tue, 04 Aug 2009 19:57:49 GMT

My question is this...Since my husband has DPOA for his mother who has Alzheimer's, does he have the authority to make her move out of her house against her will and in with us for her safety? Two doctors have told her she should not be living alone anymore and something needs to be done. The problem is that she thinks there is nothing wrong with her and we are doing this to 'get her stuff'. So I wanted to know how much power the DPOA has to make her move. Just looking for a piece of advice on the matter.

Thanks,

BeBe

Senior Citizens and Cell Phones

JDondero — Tue, 07 Jul 2009 15:46:59 GMT

By [http://ezinearticles.com/?expert=John_Dondero]John Dondero

As I speak to more operators and administrators of independent and assisted living facilities in regards to their telephone infrastructure strategy. It is clear that they are no longer providing telephone service as a standard amenity in their homes. This is for two main reasons; First they don't want to have the hassle of billing like they are a phone company. Also, with all the phone options available today, senior citizens are also taking advantage of cable telephone, VoIP and cellular options. In fact, much like their grandchildren seniors in retirement communities are choosing to only use cellular service instead of having a landline or both. When I first started my sales career fifteen years ago middle aged people would come in and complain about how complicated the cutting edge bag phone and flip phones were. I sometimes laugh at this now because comparing those phones to the Palms, Blackberrys and iPhones of today is like comparing telegraph to the touch tone phone. However, companies like Jitterbug Cellular Phones are focusing on the senior citizen niche and making simple cell phones because not everyone needs a computer in their pocket.

The Jitterbug J, may be the perfect option for seniors wanting independence or who are living in independent and assisted living facilities. It can give their families who are always worried about eldercare, peace of mind, because they know it's a phone simple enough for their elderly parents to use. We will look at what makes this generation of phone different?

The Jitterbug J, "the phone for everyone," starts with a large bright color display that uses a large easy to read font with clarity. The keypad has large roomy backlit buttons that are laid out for easy dialing for the elderly. The earphone eliminates background noise, has a dial tone similar to landlines similar to landlines when you open the phone with a powerful speaker. The phone eliminates confusing menus and only requires a yes or a no. They offer 24/7 U.S. based customer service and operators who can update the phone book, connect calls and provide directory assistance.

The rate plans start at $14.99 per month and offer upgrades like the Jitterbug Complete Care Bundle. The bundle provides roadside assistance, handset replacement and Jitterbug LiveNurse through a partnership with FONEMED. LiveNurse gives loved ones 24/7 access to registered nurses in English or Spanish. They can assist in connecting them to a large pre-recorded health information library with current information on a variety of topics. The nurses can also help document a users personal health history.

With technology simplified, better customer service, and cheap and easy billing, it's no wonder more seniors are using cell phones with assistive technologies for safety and security.

John Dondero has spent ten years in the medical equipment industry. He has sold radiology systems to hospitals, medical hardware and software, and now RFID devices including Senior Safety equipment to Senior Living facilities.

To find more information on senior or family safety and security issues, please visit http://www.silverlifechoices.com

for more information on the Jitterbug J please visit http://silverlifechoices.com/jjitterbug.aspx

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=John_Dondero http://EzineArticles.com/?Senior-Citizens-and-Cell-Phones&id=2476608

HELP! Moving mom who refuses to accept her illness

Barb60 — Sat, 04 Jul 2009 22:47:26 GMT

We just received the diagnosis of alzheimer's/dementia for my mother who is 89 (soon to be 90). Although the doctors and

staff were very patient with her in explaining her condition and why she could no longer live alone, she refused their findings

and will not leave her home, give up her driving or allow anyone to come in to assist her with her needs. She became beligerent

and accused my brother and me of trying to get her "commited" and trying to drive her crazy.

I do have durable Power of Attorney and can force the issue if necessary. We will have to move her out of state since she lives

in Ohio and I live in North Carolina.

My husband and I are considering buying a small home directly across the street from our own home in which to house her

and plan on getting elder care assistance to help with any needs I can't manage as well as to assist and relieve me when necessary.

The doctors suggested we simply tell mom we are going to lunch and "keep on going" all the way to her new home. My mom still

has enough of her mind to realize what is happening and I don't think this will work. In addition, I really don't know how to handle her

anger and stubborness regarding her acceptance of the changes that are happening to her.

<>I desperately need answers since we have to move her soon for her own safety. She is extremely independent and anti-social.

<>My husband made some "adjustments" to the car so it will temporarily not run. Senior Services has visited her and suggested some

changes including using a pill box to make sure medications are taken correctly. She refuses to use the box because she says it

confuses her.

<>We were also told to have her gas stove turned off. But I am not sure how to go about having that done since her heating is also

gas.

There is so much to be done in a very short time and just knowing she is alone while we make these decisions is very stressful.

I would appreciate any suggestions or experiences.

Thank you.

How do you know when it's time to move Mom & Dad?

DeborahB — Sat, 01 Nov 2008 22:16:05 GMT

How do you know when it's time to move Mom & Dad? So many times, we see something tragic happens to our elderly parents when they are not receiving the care & supervision they need.

But it's difficult to determine when one can care for one's elderly parents, either assisting them in their own home, or when it's time to realize that the loving care that is being provided in the adult children's home is not meeting the care needs that elderly parents need.

I know that there are programs that assist seniors to age in place, but how do they determine when the services they provide aren't enough for the elder to remain safely at home.

And when do you determine that even the well-meaning, loving, non-professional care that they are receiving from adult children in our homes isn't enough to meet the medical & psychiatric needs of our aged parents?

Does someone know/have a checklist? Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated.

Mom "lives like a Gypsy" with us kids - how do we convince her to make the move?

Miriam — Wed, 17 Jun 2009 22:18:36 GMT

Never mind -- problem solved!

Positive Downsizing: Distill the Treasures!

Composedomain — Tue, 21 Apr 2009 18:37:50 GMT

The prospect of downsizing and preparing to settle into a new community can be both exciting and daunting. It can be exciting as a threshold into a new sense of security and freedom, and also daunting as the accumulation of decades must be addressed and evaluated. I support people to use this transition as an opportunity to distill their treasures and create a space that reflects a lifetime of experience in a very supportive way.

In my work as a professional organizer I am often given the additional title of “Stuff Therapist” because of the attention I give to the deep emotional connections my clients have to their possessions. I have found that often family members have a very hard time assisting each other in the process of downsizing. The calm, detached, yet understanding support of a third party can often make the decision to release items less stressful.

My background as registered architect means that I am also equipped to help clients with spatial decisions, design and layout of furniture, selection of art work and choosing what will really work in a new environment. I have studied Feng Shui and energetic clearing techniques, which some people may find a welcome addition to the move.

Another component of my work includes clutter assessment and working with hoarding issues. My gentle and non judgmental approach has assisted many clients to make healthy changes to their homes, learning ways to organize both their spaces and their time. Information management, both paper and electronic is another area where many people have trouble. I teach some simple and effective ways to process the huge volume of paper that we all deal with, and systems to keep what really matters and find it again when it’s needed.

The Composed Domain has been serving people in the greater Puget Sound area since 2000, and has been featured several times on KUOW’s The Conversation, written about in Seattle Woman Magazine and the Seattle edition of the Daily Candy E-zine.

I would be delighted to connect with individuals or families needing help with downsizing!

Regards,

Rebecca Ross

The Composed Domain

206.546.8535

www.composedomain.com

Article: Moving Seniors: Settling Into a New Home

Admin — Wed, 13 Feb 2008 19:15:36 GMT

Moving Seniors: Settling Into a New Home

By Jeannette Franks, PhD

Moving seniors is never as simple as we'd like. You may think your job is done once the move date for your loved one is set. But your involvement will only continue, as she or he transitions to a new home and adjusts to the new surroundings. Whether nearby or at a distance, you are still one of the primary caregivers, regardless of the living arrangement. I'd like to offer some suggestions and guidelines that can significantly smooth the transition and promote harmonious living in a retirement or long-term care community.

Planning the move and setting up the new environment

Most parents benefit more when you provide the actual physical assistance in packing and unpacking rather than your dos and don'ts about what to take and what to leave. Creating a new home can be a highly personal and potentially emotional process, and ensuring choices rather than issuing mandates about possessions is one method that may foster a better sense of identity and comfort for mom or dad in the new location.

This article continues at Moving Seniors and Elder Care Services.

Living Independently at Any Age

ScottAgape — Sat, 11 Apr 2009 12:18:00 GMT

From the moment we are born we are asserting our independence. In fact the process of birth is a statement of independence itself, no longer do we need our mothers for life support. So from birth, to the first step, the first time we say “no”, to our first day of school, the first time we drive a car, go off to college, get married, quit a job, we are striving for our independence. To live on our own, to successes based on our own merits, to show the world that we can make it on our own.And at the same time we are also searching for those relationships in our lives that will give us strength, comfort, support, and education. We constantly seek opportunities through our relationships that will help us to grow. The truth is that we are not independent. Tom Hanks, in Castaways, showed that no one person can live completely on their own without eventually going crazy. If we are alone for too long a period of time we will lose our abilities to function. In fact, I believe to be truly free, independent is to first admit that we are dependent on those around us to enhance our lives both physically, mentally and spiritually. As a pastor I have been approached many times to explain the necessity of the church. Pastor, people would say, I feel much closer to God when I am on the lake fishing or walking in the great outdoors (meaning on the golf course). I usually respond, take away all of the churches today. Suppose that there were no churches anywhere, what would the world be like. No missionaries, most homeless shelters would be gone. No place for our children to learn about their faith, about God, societies morals. No place to be baptized married or buried. What would the world be like without our religion? To be truly free, we must be dependent on others to satisfy our human needs and desires. To live we must be inter dependent. I am currently in what is known as the sandwich generation. I am raising children and taking care of parents. On one end of my life I have teenagers who are seeking out independence. They need dad to pay their bills but other than that they think that they can do it all. A day does not go by that they do not say “I know” you don’t have to tell me. On the other end of my life I have my parents and in-laws who are striving to stay independent. While they cannot see or move as well as they used to because their reactions are slowing, they have cared for themselves all of their lives and they sure don’t need me to tell them what to do, or do they.

While my children are gaining in their independence there are still times that I must intervene and make decisions on their behalf, that while are unpopular are necessary for them to be safe. With our parents there comes a time when you have to be the parent. There are defining moments in any relationship when you have to be the heavy. NO, you are not going to that party, concert, or away for the weekend. No, you cannot drive the car without a license Father. I do not care that you have been driving for 70 years; you can no longer see and can be a danger to others.

Scott Middleton is CEO of Agape Senior, a housing and health care provider for senior adults in South Carolina. Agape provides assisted living, independent living, hospice care, primary physician care, pharmacy and medical equipment. http://www.agapesenior.com/

Finding in-home care in San Antonio, Texas that will take care of a married couple

pgmaya — Sat, 28 Mar 2009 22:33:20 GMT

My father is 80 years old and recently suffered a stroke. He is currently in a rehab hospital; however, once he is discharged, he will be returning home. My mother is a 78 year old woman who has always relied on my father to be her primary caretaker. Now that my father is ill and not able to care for my mother, she has gone into a depression and her anxiety has heightened. She does not like to be left alone and craves constant companionship. My 5 siblings and I are always there with her around the clock; however, it is beginning to become quite exhausting. My mother has voiced many times that she does not wish to be put in a nursing home; however, we don't know what to do since she is very demanding and at the same time, has genuine health complications. I was told by a friend of mine that she could have sworn that there if a married couple are both ill or disabled, that itself would qualify them to receive in-home care for both of them. Does anyone know anything about this?

My siblings and I have also talked to her about assisted living; however, I don't know whether my mother would be able to afford it...much less getting her to agree in moving into Assisted Living is also not easy. Any advice would be greatly appreciated!

Article: Choosing Senior Home Care Aides: Finding The Right Fit

Admin — Fri, 18 Apr 2008 19:35:55 GMT

Choosing Senior Home Care Aides: Finding The Right Fit

Finding the appropriate senior home care means not only making a decision about agencies and service plans, but ensuring that the individual caregivers who will become such an important part of your loved one’s life are the best possible match.

The kinds of qualities to look for in the caregiver will depend upon the kind of services they are providing. Some senior home care providers will drop by for a few minutes to provide medical services, while others may spend several hours a day with the senior in less formal circumstances. In the latter case, a professional relationship may become a personal relationship that can last for years.

This article continues at Senior Home Care Aides

What are the problems does our parents face in assisted living?

michelle.json — Thu, 19 Mar 2009 05:56:47 GMT

Hello friends,

My parents are on the late stage. Right now I remain so busy so I can't care them. I decide to send them to good assisted living.

Is there any problem faces by siniors who are live in assisted living?

Help me.

Does anyone know of an assisted living/nursing home for someone with MS who is in mid-fifties--not senior?

jemrich008 — Thu, 26 Feb 2009 06:58:50 GMT

If you are in the UK, there are still a few around. I know of one in Coventry, however it does take people with a range of conditions some more severe than others.

Sadly they are few and far between as funding and regulations become tighter. Her local council will be able to give you a list of registered homes, I'm afraid you may have to ring them to find out what they offer.

moving mom to another nursing home

mustang — Sun, 01 Mar 2009 00:12:51 GMT

on November 26 th my mother fell in her home and broke her ankle and her leg in two places. She has been in a nursing home since then. She has had several setbacks inlcuding she got a staff infection called mrsa in her blood and on the plate that was installed in her leg. Then she had a bad reaction to a drug which sent her back to the hospital for another week. Then on sunday Feb 22, 2009 she fell and broke the same ankle while being assisted by the nurse at the nursing home, of course the nursing home saids they are not liable. Well, I think they are, and after saying that what do I do with my mother now; obviously our faith in this nursing home has changed and her medicare coverage has ended and she is now on full pay status unless we want to sign everything over so she can be on medicaid...Any suggestions anyone has I would love to here it; I am at witts end and so scared for her.

Beginning starts early

Marian Cramer — Mon, 09 Feb 2009 18:38:44 GMT

My husband and I (81 and 74 respectively) are giving serious thought to "A Place for Mom" but at the moment the Mom is me. I began this move years ago and it means so much to me now. I began by NEVER telling our growing children that if they "ever put me in a home I'll come back and haunt you." Instead, throughout our middle years I remarked in casual ways about one day being in an assisted living facility and beyond. I said it with upbeat words like, "what a treat to have someone else decide what to cook for dinner."

My health has been up and down over the years so keeping an "eye on Mom" is not new to them. Watching their Dad fail in small ways is traumatic to a family who was somewhat like the Cleavers. Dad was the King. Our oldest child's first words were "Daddy fix it." In recent years, I began to have small talks with them pointing out ways in which they could help us as we "age in place." I have kept them involved in our lives relating new realities with a humorous spin. If they want to have a serious talk, I let them ask what they need to ask, and give them straight from the shoulder answers. Sometimes we've shed a few tears together knowing there is no trail that will lead back to "the way things were." I didn't want to wait until I was "not myself" for these talks and decisions.

They know we will have to move from this beloved retirement home that we designed and had built over 20 years ago. The day we moved in, their Dad said, "well, they'll have to carry me out of here feet first." He didn't want to even discuss the topic of moving, let alone assisted living. One day I mentioned to him that this move may not be for his benefit, but for mine. Those words were magic. He began to look at the material being sent to us in the mail. We began to TALK about the changes in our future. I realized the huge hurdle for him had been thinking it was because HE was old. Moving for my sake was a new spin.

Young people need to treat this topic early in mid-life. Waiting until we are elderly and making our children force the issue isn't fair. Our Seattle sons said to us, "Do you guys have a plan?" I knew it was time to help them help us to make one. It's a work in process.

People Taking Care of People

Community Sales Manager — Mon, 15 Dec 2008 23:27:51 GMT

I wanted to share a short story with everyone.

I work at Eagles Manor Retirement Community in Great Falls, Montana and witness bunches of amazing things. I was at our front desk area one day addressing some envelopes. One of the waitresses from the dining room brought me our dinner checklist to check on the residents that did not attend the noon meal. I began phoning the individuals who were not present. One of our residents, (i'll call her Suzy), confronted me with a to-go box of food in her hand, balanced partly on her walker. She began to ask me what room her friend, (i'll call her friend Iris), was in. I told Suzy the room number because I was aware that they had been friends for a number of years. Suzy, slowly but surely, began to make her way to the elevators to deliver her friend Iris some lunch, all the while holding on to her walker and that to-go box at the same time. I was positive of Suzy's destination because Iris was the next person on my list I was about to call.

This just tickled me partly because Suzy has used a walker the whole time that I have known her, and her friend Iris does not. Also, the fact that these two gals are still friends and ended up moving into the same Community. I think this just shows that there are more people caring about people than some may think.

Erin Korpi

We have assisted many families in Moving there mothers and fathers

Joe Gonzales — Mon, 26 Jan 2009 20:11:07 GMT

I have an older mother that is going to need more care in the upcoming year or two, so I know how things are. My company has assisted many families with relocation closer to home. We have escorted patients from places as far away as Sweden and Germany. If you are in need of someone who can set up all the arrangements for medical escort including ground and air with our flight nurses and/or paramedics and really make things so much easier, please look at my website www.airescort.com.

Hope we can help you,

Joe

senior communities in stockton

janicestark — Mon, 12 Jan 2009 22:25:31 GMT

My mother is moving to Stockton and I would like to find senior communities for her. The cost seems to be prohibitive according to this site. What I need to find out is whether any of these communities will accept housing authority. Another possiblility seems to be VA. While my mother recieves part of my Dad's retirement account, he is alive and they are divorced. Will VA still work for her situation? I could really use some direction here. Your help is most appreciated