in

A Place for Mom's Family

An Online Community about Eldercare

Fear for wife's health...please advise!

Last post 07-14-2009 11:08 PM by Acotton. 1 replies.
Page 1 of 1 (2 items)
Sort Posts: Previous Next
  • 06-23-2009 2:09 PM

    Fear for wife's health...please advise!

    My mother-in-law has been living with us for almost four years.  She is 86 and has Alzheimers (no short term memory at all).  My wife has been caring for her ever since we moved her in.  She was not diagnosed with the disease until a year after we moved her in.  My wife is POA.  We sold her house when we moved her in, never thinking she would develop Alzheimers.  My wife has been hospitalized twice with chest pains and exhaustion.  She not only has to contend with her mother, but we have three children (16, 9, 9).  We sold her house on 6/20/06 and she dispersed the money to her children and grandchildren, as well as to her brother in the Ukraine.  She has zero assets and her only source of income is $1,100 a month in social security.  We have applied for Medicare twice and been denied each time because of the five-year look-back period.

     This has taken a toll on my wife and family and we are at our wits end trying to get her mother in some type of facility.  We have exhausted every possible option and worked with the Alzheimers agency too, without positive results.  We have managed to get $200 a month from the government which pays for her to go to "day-away" every Friday.  We really need to have her out of our house and into a facility.  We are not interested in having someone come in and care for her while she remains in our house.  My wife feels as if we are depriving the children as we cannot leave her mom alone as she gets very confused.  My wife feels as though we are prisoners in our house.

    Does anyone know of any way we can get her into a facility?  We do not have the funds to afford a private pay arrangement.  Any help would be greatly appreciated.

    Thank you.

  • 07-14-2009 11:08 PM In reply to

    Re: Fear for wife's health...please advise!

    I feel your pain.  I work closely with families in your situation everyday.  I can only say that the money that came from the selling of your mother-in-law's house should have been allocated for her care, not distributed among the family.  Is there any way to get any of that money back?  Does everyone in your family understand how difficult this is for you guys?  Has any other family members offered to help with the cost of a nursing home?  Medicaid is very sticky on the 5 year lookback.  My only suggestion is to get help from your family.  If everyone gave a little each month there might be enough to pay for her nursing home stay.  If no one in your family is financially able, then get hospice involved.  Hospice can help provide bathing, paying for some of her medications and can do Respite care in a facility so you guys can go on a vacation once a year.  Check in to some hospice companies around your area they can recommend a good nursing home and get your mom into a facility, even for a short amount of time so you guys can get away. 

Page 1 of 1 (2 items)
About Us   |   Contact Us   |   Search for Senior Care   |   Terms of Service   |   Privacy