Hello, my name is Tammy and I am a wife and a mother of 3. I have been married since 3/02. I have 2 children from a past relationship which their father passed in 12/04. my husband and I took over my parents house in 04, when my parents needed to move to take care of my father’s mother, while there my mother’s health got worse and ended her in the hospital then a rehab for almost a year. My father could not take care of my mother by himself anymore so they moved back home with us and have been here ever since. My mother is bedridden and in Nov. of 07 my father had a bad stroke. Physical he is doing very well he has gone from being stuck in bed to walking with a walker and a cane. The only bad thing is that it really hurt his brain; his mind has healed in a diff. personality. Sorry to say not a good one, he went from being Mr. Rogers to a drunken sailor. (If you get what I mean). My mom’s insurance is paying for provider service and finally my father also gets provider service, my mother went behind my back and hired my brother’s girlfriend to be one of her providers in the mornings to take care of her and my father, that way I could focus on my kids and get them ready for school. The only reason she hired my brothers girlfriend is because they were getting kicked out of there apartment because they could not pay the bills. Jazz is supposed to work from 9 till 2, 5 days a week, but most of the time she doesn’t even get here till after 11:30 a.m. and leaves by 2. I new from the 1st day it would be trouble. We are going on our 2nd year and it has gotten so bad that I now have to take medication from all the stress, its not just from Jazz, but I have 3 brother’s (I am the baby of the family) that do not help matters at all. One brother (Jazz boyfriend) comes over here everyday while Jazz is working and takes over my living room and eats us out of house and home and doesn’t care that he leaves a big mess for us to clean up or no milk left to feed the baby because he drank it all. My other 2 brothers steal from us I have had to call the police on many occasions, I had one of my brothers brake into the medication box and steal my parents pain meds. I have one brother and his girlfriend come over (they are homeless) and steal what ever they can get there hands on. Including my mothers syringe for her insulin intake. I have put him in jail and got a restraining order against them and they still show up. Some morning’s we will wake up and see that one of them have been here, they came in through the doggie door or my dad let them in and either we have stuff stolen out of our kitchen or my brother is passed out on our living room floor. So not only am I feeding 7 people that live here I am feeding my brothers and their girlfriends. Last month we were out of everything my kids were crying that they were hungry I ended up spending 767.37$ and that is buying nothing that was not needed to get us to the next month. (But I will end up buying more before the month is over). The doctor said my dad can not drive right now, so I had to take the keys away that was bad he is making my life a living hell, because I wont give them back, but I cant he will hurt himself or someone else and he doesn’t understand (I did read WHEN DAD CAN”T DRIVE ANYMORE) and I thank you for that. I catch my dad telling lies and he smokes, he smoked 7 packs of cigarettes in 2 1/2 days I can’t get him to stop and if I won’t go get them for him he gets one of my brothers to take him and then they try and spend all their money on their debit card. My parents pay no bills for this house. My dad is always talking about sex and other things he should not talk about around me or my children. He is hitting the dog’s with his cane, and several times I have woke up and he is sitting at the foot of my bed watching us sleep and when I ask him what is it, he yells at me you know what I want give me a _______ cigarette. And sometimes he will turn the TV in the living room up all the way and its 3:30-4:00 in the morning and when we tell him to go to bed. He tells us we are like zombies around here and we need to get up. I could go on about my dad but I think you get the point. My mom is bedridden and she is the one that acts like a zombie all she does is sleep and eat. Mom thinks if you dont talk about it, it will go away. My mother weights about 450 lbs. all she does for herself is eat and drink, we have to do everything for her. She does have a lot of medical problems. I ask her has she given up and just waiting to die and she tells me No but I’m not to sure. I have finally gotten my fill of everything my husband and I have to put my parents into a nursing home and move away far away! And I told my parents they are mad they are not going for it, I am mean, the villain they say ugly things to me and behind my back, I had to take the baby monitor out of there room because I could not take all the things they were saying about me. The only person I have on my side is my husband my brothers make things worse they think all of this is a joke. I just can’t do this anymore I have to put my children and husband 1st. but my parents are putting so much guilt on me I feel as if I am having a nerves brake down, and now my husband wants this done now, he doesn’t want to think of my parents feelings and what it is doing to them, I understand how he feels we have never been by ourselves since we have been married even when my parents weren’t here one of my brother and his girlfriend and kid were living with us, his family lives in Denmark so we maybe see them every other year. I love him and I do not want to lose him, I feel I am being pulled two ways and I am fixing to brake. When we move we have to start all over again because when we took over this house my parents took a loan out on it and we were left buying the house, we left it in my parents name for tax reasons well it has come back and bit us, because when my parents go into the nursing home it is theirs and we are left with nothing, but right now we don’t care we just want out of here.
I know that I wrote a lot and it might sound like I’m crazy and I may be, but there has to be someone out there to tell me that I am doing the right thing, we have been turned down by 3 nursing homes because of my mom’s medical problems they tell me she is a high risk?? Isn’t that what NURSING homes are for? Sick people that can not take care of themselves?