A Place for Mom's Family

anyone know how to get rid of grown relatives living with/freeloading off of my 81 year old mother? these are two grandsons, ages 30 and 37. have lived there for 2 and 4 years respectively, have paid no rent, utilities, do no chores, clean nothing, beg her for money that she doesn't have. she spent 17000 on a credit card, used up all savings, iras, and now has a second mortgage all to cater to these two. we (my sisters and i) have begged, reasoned, threatened them to pay a tiny amount of rent...  any one have experience with adult protective services? would they consider this abuse or neglect? do they help/hurt?

Hi, Patti -

This sounds like it would fall more under financial exploitation. I don't know what state you are in, but you will want to call the state Department of Justice and ask for the Financial Fraud department. Contact an Eldercare Advisor with A Place for Mom (www.aplaceformom.com) in the city your mom lives, and they will have that information for you. Take care!

Definition: Financial exploitation is the illegal or improper use of another individual’s resources for profit or gain.

Warning signs or indicators:

• Unusual or inappropriate activity surrounding investment properties or in bank accounts, including the use of ATM cards, to make large or repeated withdrawals.
• Signatures on checks, etc. that do not resemble the person's signature, or signatures when the person cannot write.
• Power of attorney given, or recent changes in or creation of a will or trust, when the person is incapable of making such decisions.
• Unpaid bills, overdue rent, utility shut-off notices.
• Excessive spending by a caregiver on himself for new clothing, jewelry, automobiles.
• Lack of spending on the care of the person, including personal grooming items.
• Missing personal belongings, such as art, silverware or jewelry.
• Recent sale of assets and properties.

Good luck! adult protective SERVICES turned over an $8000.00+ case OF EXPLOITATION to the DA of Woodward Oklahoma And the DA says there was not enough info to charge. iF MOM GAVE THEM PERMISSION THEN TOO BAD, DOESN'T MATTER THAT SHE HAS SEVERE ALZHEIMERS AND THEY EVEN KICKED HER OUT OF HER OWN HOUSE AND NOW THEY ARE STILL LIVING THERE AND REFUSE TO MOVE, WENT TO COURT TO EVICT AND THE JUDGE WOULD ONLY GO BY WHAT ALZHEIMER MOM SAID! eLDERLY LAWS ARE NOT PROTECTED, THE DA HAS EVEN BEEN KNOWN TO SAY THE WOMAN IS 90 YEARS OLD, SHE'S GOING TO BE DEAD AND NO NEED TO MAKE A CASE. MAYBE SOCIAL SECURITY WIOLL INTERVEIN SINCE HER ONLY INCOME IS THAT. sTILL WORKING ON THIS, IT HAS BEEN 6 MONTHS. SO AS i SAY GOOD LUCK AND IF YOU SUCCEED PLEASE LET M KNOW. i EVEN SENT MESSASGE TO SENATOR COLBURN AND NOT ONE RESPONSE BACK. pEOPLE DO NOT CARE ABOUT THE ELDERLY ANYMORE, IT'S ABSOLUTELY HORRIBLE!!!!!