A Place for Mom's Family

I had a call from a neighbor who was helping an elderly couple where one of them has dementia.  Actually there was the brother in law, the sister, the neighbor – all trying to help Katherine.  I found them a residential care home and she moved in.  The neighbor delayed the process while he got the physician’s report completed before they would begin to tour.  Katherine was really a handful for her brother in law to look after and he didn’t want any more of it. All of them are in their 80’s. The transition took about 4 weeks in all, because the three elderly people had to wait until the neighbor had the time (he works) to take them on tours. Katherine moved in on Sunday and by Sunday night was screaming in pain.  The neighbor was called in and they phone 911.  Katherine had a kidney stone, but she also has blood infection, a UTI, and pneumonia.  She is not expected to live beyond today (5 days later).   All of this could have been avoided with seniors reaching out more quickly for help.  Now, the family and neighbor are going over what could have been done and none of this would have happened.  They feel a lot of guilt, and sorrow.   Whatever we can do is going to make a difference.  Maybe one person that you tell this story to will hear what you are saying and take steps to get proper medical care and proper daily care. 

Sydney Kennedy, CSA

Eldercare Advisor, APFM

I got such a sad email today. I called right away and left a message, but I am kind of glad that I did not have to talk with the family as I am sure they feel horrible. A family who I have been working with for over 6 months is devastated. A true Christmas tragedy. Her dad, who has dementia, is hospitalized - after he lit a cigarette while using his Oxygen mask. Luckily there was a long tube to the tank and the fire melted the tube, so the whole house did not blow up. Yes, 2nd and 3rd degree burns all over his face and upper body. He was adamant about staying in his home with a part time caregiver, even though they had picked out an assisted living community. When a loved one just is not making safe decisions or procrastinating it is up to the responsible adult to be tough and realize that dementia is a hideous disease that can rob a person of rational thought. The loved one can appear fine for days and then wander off or overdose or leave a pot of the stove (which my grandmother did). Sorry for the rant, but I needed to vent my frustration and sadness. At least now when he recovers he will be in a safe place. We run into these situations more often and I think if all of us share some of our experiences, maybe we can help someone else make the right decisions.