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Article: A Place For Aunt Annie

Last post 11-05-2009 4:14 PM by sherrymarshall. 5 replies.
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  • 02-10-2008 7:56 PM

    Star [*] Article: A Place For Aunt Annie

    A Place For Aunt Annie

    For a lucky few, there was an adult—other than Mom and Dad—who made their childhood special. Perhaps it was a beloved teacher, or a grandparent, or an extended family member. But for Diane Ricciotti, her Aunt Anna Williams was that person.  “It was always special when I got to spend time with Aunt Annie,” says Diane of her mother’s sister, who had no children of her own. “As a child, I would visit her on weekends sometimes, and we always had so much fun.”

    This article continues at Elder Care Referral

  • 08-26-2008 11:10 AM In reply to

    Re: Article: A Place For Aunt Annie

    A place for Aunt Annie was a great story to read about. We are in the beginning stages of helping our mom. I am hoping to have a happy and successful story as well. Deborah Parke has been our Elderly Advisor and she has been awesome. Thank you for sharing your story about Aunt Annie.

  • 01-22-2009 8:00 PM In reply to

    Re: Article: A Place For Aunt Annie

    I hope you have a pleasant experience because I have had a nightmare of a problem in Honolulu.  I moved a dear 95 year old friend from an Independent Living facility to an Assisted Living facility in the same building a little over 3 months ago.  I relied on what the administrator said and wish I had not.  Anyone moving anyone into a facility must make sure everything is in writing even if you think you know the person.  DO NOT LISTEN to the kind words or promises they make you.  Get it all out in the open and in writing!  Be very clear on what services they provide and whether they will meet your needs.

    The first surprise was - there was a $1,500 non-refundable fee for the apartment in addition to the $5,800 monthly charge.  This was never discussed at the original interview.  The $5,800 does include a studio apartment which is priced higher than the same apartment in Independent Living.

    During the interview my friend mentioned she could not dress herself or bathe herself.  She did say she could brush her own teeth.  I found out immediately that "dressing her" was not listed on the care plan.  The facility did include it on the care plan when I made a fuss.  I asked for a copy of the care plan and was told they're not supposed to give it out.

    They confiscated all her meds (prescription and non) and would "only follow doctor's orders."  Now I know following doctor's orders is important but my friend had severe back pain and because they didn't have an order from the doctor and they had taken the pain pills, she was in agony and almost had to go to the hosptial.  Her life went from one day of administering meds to herself as needed to a gestapo approach of "following doctor's orders" with no regard for the client.  They did, again when confronted, make some exceptions. 

    The other matter was the doctor wanted her to drink 2 bottles of Ensure a day.  They would not let her keep the Ensure in her room but insisted on monitoring her intake. The aide would stand over her bed until she drank the entire bottle, which was next to impossible for her.  Again, we finally worked out some equitable arrangement on that matter.

    My friend also told the administrator at the first meeting that she didn't want to go to the dining room and wanted to have meals in her room.  Again she was assured that "she didn't have to do anything she didn't want to".  That is a boldface lie!!!  I understand socializing and not being cut off from others is important in a senior's life but I believe more firmly a client's wishes should be acknowledged and honored.  They insist she dine in the dining room and if they have to bring food to her, they drop it on the counter. She is then expected to open the bag, transfer the food to a plate, cut the meat, etc. and carry it to her table to eat.  This lady has arthritus and cannot walk without holding onto something.  When asked if they would assist her in cutting food and in feeding her, I was told State Law does not permit that.  I would never have thought of looking into State law if this comment had not been made.  According to Chapter 90, assistance with "eating and feeding" are part of the services offered.  Also transportation is to be provided and at the initial intake meeting we were told there is no transportation to medical appointments and given a name of a person who charges $66 to transport.  Saying there was no transportation is an infraction of the state law, Chapter 90. 

    The facility then suggested we hire a private pay nurse to come in for 10 hours a day and take care of my friend.  They said they would give us a break on their fees. We have done this on a trial basis for two weeks which increases the cost of services from my friend for the month from $5,800 to over $8,000.  Then we were told there would be no break in fees.

    I am currently looking for another facility.  Here we have foster care homes who take in two clients to live in their homes.  These cost around $3,500 to $5,000 a month and some homes do not want the patient dying there and abandon them upon point of death.  Nursing homes have a waiting list here but I am researching those as it appears my friend's needs are more than an assisted living home can provide.  I ask you what is the definition of assisted living - handing out pills during the day, dressing and undressing, and bathing the client 3x a week and making sure they get to the dining room????  Sounds like a little bit of work to do for the amount they're charging. 

    Also in Hawaii, you have to have a case manager if you are dealing with a private care home and those charge about $600 a month for a once a month visit to take blood pressure and make sure the client is being treated well and the home is clean.  I personally monitored and supervised my mother's care in a facility such as this and I believe the $600 a month for a case manager for my mother was a rip-off.  I was very involved and would  have known if she was being ill treated or the home was not clean. When I questioned this charge, I was told they have to charge this much for private pay clients because Medicaid pays them $500 a month and they can't charge private pay less.

    While I'm saying all this, I realize these facilities offer much needed services.  Some of us have to work and cannot care for our parents in our homes and still make ends meet.  With my mother we exhausted all her resources for her care and then paid some on our own before she died.

    I every day think of the people who have no one like me as their advocate, to assist and make sure their wishes are carried out as much as possible and they retain some dignity rather than being told what to do, when to do it, and what they can't do and expected to shut up. 

    Again, my best wishes.  My only hope is that people will get involved and not take what assisted living homes tell them at face value.  They need to be involved and make sure their loved ones are taken care of.  Sorry to be so long winded but I am passion about elderly have quality of life and dignity and independence as long as they can.  Remember discuss everthing and get it in writing!!!

     

     

     

  • 02-17-2009 1:09 PM In reply to

    Re: Article: A Place For Aunt Annie

    This story regarding Aunt Annie was a great reminder for all of us to keep an alert eye and checkup on our elderly family and friends.  That young lady was remarkable and her aunt a very fortunate part of her family.  To soon we neglect our extended members that have been given as a blessing to us.  My aunt Betty is 93 and for awhile her family did not visit her very often. I was unable to as she lives in Minnesota and I in Calif. I just received word that her son finally started do go several times a week to see her.  She lives alone and is almost blind from eye disease.  Dear Aunt Betty who always cared about all of us finally agreed to an assisted living home and to sell her house of 70 years.  I was greatful for that.  Dear people don't neglect any of your relatives. They are very much apart of your life.  Mary

  • 06-23-2009 1:01 PM In reply to

    Re: Article: A Place For Aunt Annie

    Thak you so much for your  letter in response fo the above article.  I am in a similar situation and don't have the faintest idea where to start . He is only 69 and has been showing signs of Alz. dementia for about 6 years.As a LPN and having worked in senior facilities I agree with you about the immportance of getting all info in writing.  Also, all pre-printed should be initilled by the director of the facility and the SS Director.  Could you possibly e=mil me how to start?  Who do I contact first?  Any information you could supply me with would be so greatly appreciated.     thank you so much.

    mommylove2626@yahoo.com

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

  • 11-05-2009 4:14 PM In reply to

    Re: Article: A Place For Aunt Annie

    Hi!  I found a place for my mom too, but I'am still looking for financing.  I'am sure she can get VA assistance, but I'am looking for more funds somewhere

    else.  My dad never got his carpenter union benefits, so mom doesn't either.  I'am glad you found a good, safe place for your mom.  I hope my mom is

    as happy as yours in her new place.  Do you have any suggestions for driving her there?  And when did you start visting her?

    Thanks for your help,

    God bless,

    Sherry Marshall

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