A Place for Mom's Family

I am 23, and my dad is 82. He has always been emotionally and verbally abusive to my mother and I (at times physically as well). I still live at home due to financial reasons. He doesn't have dementia, but he has been starting to forget to pay his taxes, etc. I'm tired of worrying about him all my life, and I am trying to save up and move out. My mother is more like a kid sister to me, very dependent and enabling.

My question is: as my dad's mind deteriorates, am I legally obligated to help him. I have my own life to worry about, and am trying to take care of myself (finally). There is no one else in the family (they're all dead). It's ironic that after years of him telling me I'm worthless, now I'm the only one who could help him. Do I have to step in at some point and start doing his bookeeping? I really don't want to. Could I go to jail for 'neglect' if I don't?

 

Thanks for reading.

There are some states that require adult children to take care of their parents. You need to check first if your state enforces this law or not. I know where you're coming from. You have your own life now and this is the only time you can finally enjoy it. If you can't help him maybe he has some sort of insurance or he's under the Medicare program. He can use this to go into assisted living facilities or those that specialize in people in the early stages of Dementia or Alzheimer's. If he's eligible people there can handle his bookkeeping and other things he needs.

I think for instances like this, you can ask help from your state's social service. But you might need to explain why you can't look after him.

maybe, if you live there and people think you are the care giver.

let senior services know what is happening here, maybe they can help.

i'd get protective services involved so they can help you get a court appointed guaradian to assist with his care and finances and look out for you mother.

i'd move asap too. i know it's hard these days. maybe a studio or share a house. etc. good luck.