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Need help Power of Attn over insane father in law

Last post 01-23-2012 3:25 PM by Merret Anne Mann. 1 replies.
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  • 01-20-2012 9:18 PM

    Need help Power of Attn over insane father in law

    Father in-law is elderly and an abusive alcoholic who cannot tend to her. Conditions are deplorable- he had her taken out of healthcare facility 2 weeks ago where she had been living for the past year when he was hospitalized and almost died due to alcohol poisoning. Within 9 days the aid who was scheduled for that day arrived to find him passed out at 11am with vomit all over him- she called 911 thinking he was seriously ill. He had been on a binge the night before. Mother found wandering around-stove on, trying to eat frozen breakfast biscuit. He became violent with my wife when we attempted to intercede. He  is in process of hiring attn to fight  husband over the Power of Attn he has  for both. She needs her clothes and furniture and is sleeping on couch at the facility we placed her in. He is saying she has been kidnapped and refuses to pay her monthly rent and will not allow us to get her things including the furniture and bed she needs for her room. We do not want an long drawn out legal process. There has to be a way to get control over his finances - Husband has Durable POA over both since incident last year. Police had to be called to assist us with removing her from his house last weekend. He is crazed and verbally and physically abuse. She cannot return to that house with him. She became violent and kept attacking aid and he shoved my wife when she was tiring to help out. There has to be a way to resolve this as it is ludicrisAttn in Tn wants $1500 retainer to petition to get guardianship. Said it may cost even more if it gets too involved. Physician has written a letter to facility to state in no circumstances can he care for her. He discussed with my wife that he is an alcoholic and in no way will he allow her to go back. Care facility also had him living there for a short while and can attest to his verbal abuse of his wife when they were together there while his was recovering from alcohol poisoning incident. They state he yells and screams at her even when he was visiting her - the result is her condition detracting when he is around her.

    My husband and I cannot take it much longer- we are suffering from extreme stress and cannot think straight. Husband  went to the emergency room at 3am thinking he was having a heart attack and I am having severe panic attacks from dealing with his insane behavior for the past 10 years. We are living in a nightmare and have to get control over his finances in order to pay the facility she is in, get her furniture and clothing to her and keep her safe. He will not even allow her to have a new pair of expensive diabetic shoes saying she has plenty of shoes. (Her feet require special shoes as they are so wide and sensitive- Medicaid paid for one pair two years ago and will not pay for another) He has a considerable amount of money but is a miser. We buy all of her clothing and cannot afford to go on this way.We have filed report with Dept of protective services but have not been contacted by anyone. Husband tried to file a report with another  state resource agency but they stated they cannot help as there is not a "box" to check for this situation as it does not fall in a category they can assist with. Please help with any advice as to an easy way to deal with what should be a simple cut and dry situation. Bottom line- he is dangerous and unable to care for himself as he is drunk about 75% of each day. He is a danger to others as he has vision problems and should not be driving yet drives to liquor store to buy gallon of whiskey and drinks it in 2 days. We have cared for both for the past 10 years every single weekend. They have both been hospitalized numerous times and he has almost died twice due to intoxication related incidents. I cannot believe we would have to go thru a long drawn out expensive process. My husband is devastated at the thought of his father suing him over this. Please any advice and prayers are so very welcomed!
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  • 01-23-2012 3:25 PM In reply to

    Re: Need help Power of Attn over insane father in law

    HI Talleyje,

    Keep trying Adult Protective Services, go to their office if you need to! I think this is your first move as the situation sounds volatile  and out of control. I have copied and pasted here what my local APS offers:

     Adult Protective Services (APS) staff investigates reports of abuse, neglect, including self-neglect, or financial exploitation of at-risk adults who are unable to protect themselves due to a physical or mental limitation. APS staff assesses the need for protective services and provide services to reduce the identified risk to the adult. These services may include case coordination, short-term case management, guardianship or representative payee, and information and referral.

    Adults who may receive Protective Services are defined in the state law as: "At-risk Adult" means a person eighteen (18) years of age or older who because of mental or physical dysfunction, or advanced age, is unable to manage such person's own resources, carry out the activities of daily living, or protect such person from neglect, hazardous or abusive situations without assistance from others and who has no available, willing, and responsibly able person for assistance and who may be in need of protective services.

    Allegations that APS will Investigate

    Physical Abuse

    Physical abuse is intentional infliction of injury or physical mistreatment, including: slapping, pinching, choking, kicking, shoving, inappropriate use of drugs or physical restraints.

    Sexual Abuse

    Sexual abuse is any non-consensual sexual contact.

    Sexual abuse includes: unwanted touching, rape, sodomy, coerced nudity, sexually explicit photographing.

    Note: Any sexual contact between a facility staff person such as a nursing home, adult family home, boarding home, or supportive living and a vulnerable adult is considered nonconsensual.

    Mental or Emotional Abuse

    Mental or emotional abuse is the intentional action or inaction of mental or verbal abuse.

    Mental abuse includes: intimidation, coercion, ridicule, harassment; treating an adult like a child; isolating an adult from family, friends, or regular activity; use of silence to control behavior; yelling or swearing resulting in mental distress.

    Neglect or Self-Neglect

    Neglect or self-neglect means that, through action or inaction, by themselves or someone else, a vulnerable adult is deprived of care needed to maintain physical or mental health. This does not include a competent person who decides to live in a way that may threaten their safety or well-being.

    Neglect or self-neglect includes: untreated or improperly attended medical conditions, poor personal hygiene; unsafe living conditions, such as no heat; unsanitary living quarters, such as no toilet; lack of appropriate clothing; lack of necessary medical aids; failure to take medications as prescribed.

     Exploitation or Financial Exploitation

    Exploitation is exerting undue influence or forcing a vulnerable adult to perform services for the benefit of others. Financial exploitation is the illegal or improper use of the property, resources or income of a vulnerable adult for another person’s profit or gain.

    Examples of exploitation include: An adult relative living in the home of a vulnerable adult without contributing to the household. An unexplained sudden transfer of assets to a family member or someone outside the family.

    Abandonment

    Abandonment is leaving a vulnerable adult without the ability to get necessary food, clothing, shelter, or health care. An example of abandonment includes a caregiver deserts the individual in a public place or in their own home.

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