A Place for Mom's Family

In August of 2005 we lost my grandmother Jean.  It was sudden and surprising. She died in her home of a heart attack.  She was a painter, a traveller and a free spirit.  When I was 18 we went to Paris together, climbed Notre Dame and both shimmied up the top of the west tower and grabbed the lightning rod for a picture.  She was in her 70s at the time.  My mother, her daughter, had a fit when she saw the photos   (Incidentally, they don't allow anyone up there anymore for fear they'd fall.)

 I will always miss her and never forget her.

 Also: http://community.aplaceformom.com/blogs/test/archive/2008/01/13/grandma-jean.aspx

Wonderful story John!

My grandmother Lena was a strong German woman who shared tales of my mom stealing the butter during the depression. She collected teacups from all over the world as they were travelers - only to have most of them destroyed in an earthquake. Sadly, she came down with Alzheimers and we had a very  loving cargiver aptly named "Angel" who became another member of our family for the 8 years she lived with my grandparents and she was there when they both passed. I just had a photo taken of my daughter wearing a smocked dress that Grandma Lena had sewn for me when I was her age.  Our grandmas have moved on but our wonderful memories still live within us.

Awesome story John!  Grandmothers are truly a gift. About a year before my grandmother died I asked her if she was afraid to die and if life went by fast. She said she wasn't afraid to die and that her faith was strong that she would be with my grandfather again.  But in response to does life go by fast she said, "oh yes it sure does." She said "I thought by now I would feel all grown up!" (she was 89 at the time of this conversation) I was confused by that until she went on to explain that she thought she would outgrow certain things like jealousy, fear, getting butterflies in her stomach and not being able to sleep the night before a big day.  She shared some funny stories about my grandfather getting jealous when he was well into his eighties. It was great to hear this from someone I admired so much because she gave me permisison to be human for the rest of my life. We don't outgrow everything we just learn to manage things better.  I too will never forget the precious times spent with my grandmother.

John:  As I read about your dear grandmother, I am reminded of my own grandparents who have had such a significant impact on who I am today – on what matters to me, how I spend my time, and how I treat other people...  I am grateful on so many kevels, but especially in the sense that they have demonstrated to me the unique importance of a grandparent in a child’s life.  

Any day now, I will get to experience the birth of my fourth grandchild.  Because of the role models I had, I have the priceless perspective of knowing what I can mean in the lives of these precious little people.  – and because I know that, I have their entire lives to pour into them all the love and care  I received.  I won’t miss a day to show them and tell them what a joyous adventure life can be, and to help mold them into the compassionate adults they will soon become.  This, I think is the most suitable way to honor my grandparents.- and the way that would delight them the most.   It's amazing how the inspiration can continue through the generations.

I've really enjoyed reading all these grandparent stories...great post John! 

I was the first grandchild in our family and definitely shared that very special bond with both my grandparents.  They were both off the boat from Italy and grandpa still carried an incredibly thick accent throughout his life (truly a character in his own right)!  My Gram was a quiet yet strong woman with the most beautiful spirit of anyone I'd ever met.  She became much more than a grandmother to me, she became my best friend.  I went to her with stories, hurts, joys...you name it.  As I got older she began to share her and grandpa's love stories with me...something I'll never forget.  When it was my time to get married, I went over their house with all the ingredients to learn first hand how to make Gram's sauce and meatballs.  We had many laughs and lots of great food!  This day has gone down as one of the great memories of my life. 

Early in 1999 grandpa lost a very long battle with his health.  Gram remained strong and healthy and I had hoped that she would now be able to enjoy some time out of hospitals and nursing homes (as she was grandpa's primary caregiver and spent many years tending to his needs).  That wasn't the plan.  On May 28, 1999 (only 6 months later) my Gram tripped over the saddle in her door frame, fell and fractured her hip.  While awaiting her surgery a blood clot formed on her femur bone, went to her lung and she died immediately.  I'll never forget that day, the worst day of my life.  I couldn't imagine how I would go on without her. 

 As we know, time does heal wounds.  They may open on occassion (as they certainly do each time that I think of my precious Gram), but we must find a way to turn the sadness around.  Today I have 2 beautiful daughters of my own.  Unfortunately they never had the chance to meet their Great Gram or Grandpa, but those 2 special people live in our home.  Pictures of Gram and Grandpa are around the house and their names are mentioned regularly.  My older daughter knows just how special it is that her middle name is Christina, in honor of my Gram.  Most importantly, my husband and I tell the girls all about the loved ones in our lives that they never had the chance to meet.  We also share those special stories that our family could laugh for hours about.  At bedtime, my older daughter always asks for a story from my mouth (this would be something other than a book).  Anytime I ask her which one she'd like, her first choice is always the story about how I learned to make my sauce.  She knows the story in it's entirety and even helps me tell it.  She especially likes to mimic Grandpa's Italian accent! 

So, while it hurts to know that they are no longer here, I believe that it is a vitally important to keep our lost loved ones alive in our lives and the lives of our families as much as we can.  They existence may be gone, but their memories MUST live in our hearts and in our homes.  The wonderful thing about tradition is that we can make it whatever we want to...let's commit to making our elders part of our family tradition...they deserve it!